


Hunt of a Lifetime

by Joshua_Preston



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Predator Series, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 12:24:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14332425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joshua_Preston/pseuds/Joshua_Preston
Summary: Some dumb sailor gets entangled with Black Ops soldiers, drug cartel and the deadliest hunter in the galaxy. This is part of the ‘real life’ series. It takes myself and puts me in outlandish situations.





	Hunt of a Lifetime

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer : 20th Century Fox owns The Predator franchise, everything else goes to me. Plus there is a surprise at near the end, that doesn’t belong to me either.

A lone sailor is sitting in a dark room. With only a desk lamp to show any kind of settings that he’s around. How did this happen? That’s a good question. If someone had told me what happened this past week, odds are I wouldn’t have believed them. I almost don’t want to acknowledge the events didn’t occur. But I would be lying.

Two options. Don’t talk and I’m thrown into a 4x5 cell. Talk and I’m thrown into a 4x5 PADDED cell. Perhaps I should mentally recall what happened.

It all started when one dumb sailor went on shore leave. I showed my I.D., saluted and requested to go ashore. It was granted. My fellow shipmates had already left. Probably to go to a strip club and/or have sex with local prostitutes. I decided to use my time more constructively. So I spent the day mountain climbing. And waited until sunset. Then I saw it. At the time I thought is was a meteorite burning up in the atmosphere. So I went to investigate.

We were all told the same story. Stay away from the jungle. We were never told why, just to stay away. Rumor had it that place was where the jungle scenes in the first Predator movie were filmed. So me being a pure-bred Redneck, I did what I was told not to. So I snuck over and started walking around.

I looked up and saw stars. I hadn’t seen this many since before I left the farm. I inhaled the scents around. Opened my ears. And let the surroundings penetrate my skin.

That’s when I noticed something. I heard foot travel in the brush. I couldn’t pinpoint whatever it was.

Then it hit me.

Or rather, SOMEONE hit me.

I was pinned to the ground. And this big, hulking mass was towering over me. He growled at me. “All right you little shit! Tell me what are you doing here! NOW!!!” He screamed right into my face.

In instances just like this, we are trained to say three things. As instructed from basic training. Name, rank and serial number. “Preston, Joshua Daniel. Seaman apprentice. 495-86-8510.” Even with adrenaline pumping, I was no match for this guy. He could probably bench press twice my weight.

My reply seemed to piss him off further. “I asked you a question numb nuts. Now who are you?!” I could feel the heat radiating off him.

I scowled back at him. And gave him my original answer. “Preston, Joshua Daniel. Seaman apprentice. 495-86-” I was cut off with a gun pointing at my right temple.

I saw him pull the trigger back. “I asked you a question! If you give me that shit one more time, I swear I will blow your fucking brains out all over the fucking jungle floor!” Before he could make good with his threat, someone else stopped him.

“Back off, soldier. That’s an order. Does he really look like a mule to you?” The leader thought on that some. “Forget I asked that.” He pulled ‘Angry Man’ off of me. “He’s obviously some sailor that is in the wrong place at the wrong time.” He turned his attention to me. He extended a hand to me. I accepted it and he helped me up off from the ground. “How are you son? Good I hope. Ordinarily I would just send you on your way, but this is a very dangerous situation. So we’ll escort you back to your ship, then I’ll have to tell your chain of command where we found you.”

This just served to piss me off even further. I mentally counted to ten and replied. “That’s okay. I’ll just have to tell my CO all about you guys. I’m sure he’ll be very interested to know that a squad of mercenaries are running around the jungle in the middle of the night.” Maybe it was the heat of the summer air and the darkness of night, but I could have sworn I saw Angry Man smile.

A low chuckle escaped his lips. “Kid’s got moxie, I’ll give him that.”

If not for the camouflage make-up, I was pretty sure the leader was going to pop a blood vessel. “Fine. Keep your head down, or it’ll be blown off.” I wish that he kept his own advise. He was the first one to go.

As we traveled, I lagged behind and struck up a conversation with one of them. “Aside from being a pack animal used on various farms across the world, what is a mule?” Despite my less then stellar scores in school, I’ve always had a keen scientific mind. And that includes a curiosity.

My companion explained it all. “Well, you see, a mule is someone used to smuggle drugs into another country. Sometimes they use cats and dogs. Others, humans are involved.” He gripped his rifle, as if he’s ready to use it right now.

And I came up with my own conclusion. “And you’re here to stop them.”

He tuned me out a bit. “Yeah. Something like that.”

After traveling for what seemed like hours, we came across a house with a factory attached to it. To coin a phrase, the lights were on but nobody was home. We entered through the factory.

Upon inspection, we were surrounded by tons of illegal drugs. The leader turned to me. “You stay here. Stay out of trouble. We’ll go check on things.” They left me to me own devices.

After enjoying the silence, I heard faint drops. I turned to the source. And found three blood drops on a pile of heroin. And looked directly up. And found one skinned corpse hanging upside down from the rafters above.

Acting on a hunch, I sat down in a Zen pose and closed my eyes. While opening my other senses to the extreme. Allowing to view the invisible. Something my sensei once taught me. The smallest sound was picked up by my hearing. The tiniest scent tickled my nose. I could feel any vibrations from my skin. I could taste the difference of air pressure.

I opened my eyes and saw IT. Problem was, it really was invisible. I could make out the distortions from the lights behind it. And it took the poor soul away. I tried to convince myself that didn’t happen. But, as it happens, my hunches are always 100% accurate.

Just then I heard a faint thumping coming from a meat locker. I walked over and opened it.

Only to have a fully naked/half-frozen young lady land on top of me. And knock me down on the concrete floor. I let out a grunt. The commotion caught the attention of my comrades.

All the men were shocked to see the spectacle. Angry Man laughed out loud. “Kid. You’ve got to tell me your secret!”

I notice that she is shivering. I push her off of me and sit her down. I take off my rain coat and put it on her. I turn to the others. “Do any of you know Spanish?” They looked at me like I grew a second head. Okay, time to see if those two years of Spanish in High School will finally pay off. “May llamo es Joshua.[My name is Joshua?] Que es llamo?[What is your name?]” No reply.

She was still in shock, so I had no idea if she would reply. But she did.

“May llamo es Marie.[My name is Marie.]” I counted my blessings for this much.

I decided to get to the bottom of this. “Donde esta?[What happened?]” I asked her softly.

What she said, will forever leave a chill in my soul. “El invisible del Diablo de muerte.[The invisible devil of death.]” She answered, although she was still frightened.

Her answer made my hands shake. Badly. The leader came to me. “What’s wrong, son?”

I turned to him. “She said the invisible devil of death is responsible for this carnage.” I forced my hands into fists, a way to keep them from shaking.

Angry Man was not impressed. “Oh, come on! You’re saying some kind of giant chameleon did all this! You know how crazy that is? That’ll get you into the loony bin!”

I scowled at him. “No kidding, Sherlock! But those blood drops didn’t just fall from the sky!” Well, technically they did. But that’s beside the point. I pointed to where the three drops landed.

The leader walked over and investigated. “Huh. These are gravitational. Perfect circles. That means, they dropped straight down.” He looked up and noticed small amounts of blood set on a bar. “Gentlemen. This place is not secure. Lock and load.” He ordered.

I saw them put down their bags and take out some space-age guns. Ones I’ve never seen before.

He turns to me. “I want you to stay here and take care of your girlfriend.” I could hear several groans coming from his squad. I didn’t have the time to correct his assumption.

They left me and my…I didn’t know what our relationship is. Even if I had a chance with someone like her. She’s beautiful, smart and noble. Me? I’m ugly, stupid and crazy. I push that aside and continue my conversation. “Senora?[Miss?] Comprende Englesia?[Do you comprehend English?]” She raises her head for me to see her brown eyes. A stark contrast to my own Aqua-marine.

I rub her back. Ignoring the impulses her naked breasts are doing to my libido. “Si.[Yes.] I am a local exotic dancer. I was hired to relieve the tension in this place. I put down my stereo and turned on the music. I started to dance in many sexy poses. Then I dropped off my clothing. One piece at a time.” She pointed to where her clothes are. I see them laying in a pile. Marie continued. “They started to drink. When I finished, they started to shoot off their weapons. That’s when the devil came and slaughtered them all.” Marie started to cry.

I wipe away her tears. I do my best to calm her down. “Sh, sh, sh. It’s going to be alright. It’s going to be fine, Marie.” She raises her lips to mine.

I clear my throat. “Perhaps it would be better if you got dressed.” I suggested.

Marie nodded her head. As she left to retrieve her clothes, I turned around to give her some form of privacy. Which wasn’t much, as it turns out.

I could hear my jacket hit the floor. And I saw her silhouette. Including her bending over to pick up her bra and panties. I could make out her breasts. To say that they are perfect is an understatement.

I hear her giggle. “Here is your jacket, sir.” She held it back to me.

I turn around to see her dressed. I shake my head. “You keep it. It will help you stay in the shadows.” Before I could go any further, I heard footsteps, and they didn’t belong to any of my companions. “Marie. I want you to find a nice hiding place and stay there. And don’t come back out until I say so.” She bade my warning.

I walked up to a mop. And unscrewed the handle. Careful not to make any noise. I held it as if it were a Katana.

The door opened and the first thing I saw was an outdated gun. I swung the make-shift weapon down on the wrist. I let out a small smirk as I heard a crack. And it wasn’t the handle. My opponent dropped the gun in pain.

Before he could have a chance, I swung the rod into his stomach. Leaving him breathless. He was on the ground, but not down for the count. Using all my strength, I slammed down my weapon on his back. This time breaking it in half.

I heard Marie calling me. “Sir. Sir? Is everything alright?”

I respond in full honesty. “Yeah. Everything’s good, Marie. And call me Joshua. No one calls me ‘sir’.”

She walked out and found my attacker out cold. “Oh! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She ran over and kissed my on the cheek.

I knew I didn’t have time to let the feeling enter my body. So I just mention the obvious. “Marie? I’m going to need to something to secure him with. Do you think you could find something?”

She nodded and left.

I take a few moments to chastise myself. A half-naked woman basically throws herself at me. And what do I say? I need something to tie this guy up. Great job, Joshua. Great job. If my brother saw me like this, he’d probably smack me upside the head.

I wonder if anyone else does that?

I hear her return. She held three plastic strips up to my face. “Will these do, Joshua?” Marie blushed a little.

I accepted them. “Yes. These are industrial strength ties. They’re perfect.” I go about securing our prisoner. I start by kicking the gun away. As I go about tying the wrists together, I hear Marie gasp. I turn to her.

“That is the man that hired me to be here.” She announced.

I go about finishing my job. I slip the tie around the wrists, tight. Then I do the same with the ankles. Then I attach the two together. I wouldn’t blame Marie for thinking I was some masochistic dominatrix.

I let out an embarrassed chuckle. “I spent nearly over a decade in the Boy Scouts. You learn real quick about securing things.”

I drag this dead weight to the side. “Marie? I want you to go back into hiding until I get back. It won’t be long.” She does as I ask.

I went to find the others, and what I saw was sickening to my stomach. They were confiscating the drugs. “Oh, no. You’re stealing the drugs.”

The leader walked over to me. “Listen, when you called us mercenaries, you were right. But not the ones you think of. We were hired out by the DEA to stop the inflow of narcotics coming from South America. And we need evidence to show them that these are the bad guys.” He tried to reason with me.

I was stone silent. Took a breath. “If ya’ll are done lying to me, there’s something that all ya’ll need to see.” I only slip into my native dialect if I’m really ticked off.

When we get back, I show them the captive. One of the goons just rolled his eyes. “Wow. A knocked out underline. How cool.” He mentioned thick with sarcasm.

I manage to curb my temper. “Take a good look at him. What self-respecting drug dealer would allow any of his guys to have better accessories.” I motion the Italian loafers and the solid gold wristwatch.

I hear Angry Man call Sarcastic Man a ‘dumb-ass’. Personally, I’ve always felt that anyone who’s an ass is inherently dumb. So it’s redundant.

He stepped forward to inspect my handiwork. And nodded his head. “Good job kid. Good job.”

I don’t know why, but that compliment sent a wave of good feeling throughout my body. It was as if I needed his approval.

The leader spoke up. “As soon as we’re done here, we’ll gather up the garbage here and head to the landing site.”

They left to finish their job.

And I went to check on Marie. The next think I know, I’m on my back (a second time this knight) and Marie is on top of me. And I can feel her fantastic curves on my body. My self-control is now officially shot.

It was then I heard a gun cock. I push Marie off of me. And see the dealer pointing it at me.

He squeezes the trigger, just as three red points of light hit his chest.

I grab Marie and duck, just as the energy blast leaves a giant hole in the chest. Can I go on record here and say I hate being right.

The commotion brought the leader back. “What’s going-” He didn’t finish. The blast knocked his clean off.

I grab Marie and make a bee-line for the others. Angry Man sees me. And notices something wrong. “Where’s the squad leader?”

I manage to catch my breath. “Okay. Remember that the jungle scenes from Predator were filmed not far from here? Well, I think a real Predator was nearby. And now one’s returned to finish the job. We have to leave now!” No one in their right mind would listen to me. No reason they would start now.

Until it was too late.

Other members shouted out. “What the hell is that?!” “Open fire!” I shout to them to stop. But it’s too late.

The only ones left are myself, Marie and Angry Man. “Let’s move it! Or we’re next!” The three of us ran like the devil was after us.

After a while, we stopped at a local watering hole with a waterfall. Marie and I stepped in to cool ourselves off. She starts to shiver. I hold her close to me. This time ignoring my self-control all together.

Angry Man steps up to me. “You said that this is a Predator. Do you know anything that might be a tactical advantage?” He asks, because he probably never faced anything like this.

I thought over both of the movies I saw. “Well. For starters, it only hunts noble prey. ‘Noble’ meaning it will kill anyone that’s armed. You have to drop any kind of weapon that you have. Then run like hell.”

He nodded in agreement. “Nice plan. Wish I thought of it.”

Before I could smile, I heard a loud crunching noise. “He’s here.” The three of us ran for our lives. And didn’t stop until we reached our airlift.

Angry Man got on first. Leaving only Marie and myself. “Go, Marie! Leave me! Just go!” I yell above the blades.

She is very upset. “Why you?! Why does it have to be you?!” She’s crying.

I, too, start to shed tears. “Because I’m the only that can stop him! It’s my duty! I have to!” I feel my heart breaking for what seems both the first and last time.

“I LOVE YOU!!!” Marie shouts to me.

I grab her and kiss her. Something I’ve wanted to do since I first met her. “I LOVE YOU, TOO, MARIE!!!”

I run back into the fray, trying not to hear Marie’s pleas.

After searching for an hour, it finds me. As a sign of respect, he takes his mask off. And both Arnold and Danny got it right. He really is one ugly mother-fucker. “Ready to Rock and Roll, asshole?” I blame my bravery on the people I’m named after. An Israelite general and a prophet/dragon slayer.

He mimics my voice. Though distorted. “Ready to Rock and Roll, asshole.” He whips out his spear/lance.

I growl at my opponent. “It seems I’m at a disadvantage. You are well equipped and I am not.”

He tosses his weapon to me. I catch it mid-air.

Only to be left open to his first attack. He shot a razor net at me. I use the spear to cut it before it cuts me.

Then he uses his disks. I wait for it. He throws them and I block them with the spear. It is a first. I get to see shock on a Predator’s face. It is not a good look.

I take off one disk as he starts the self-destruct. Using the tactics my brother taught me playing Frisbee, I lined up the target and let it fly. It sliced through the arm.

I take off the other disk, and he ready’s his laser cannon. I take my spear and skewer it. I can tell he’s really pissed off.

I use my remaining weapon and slice his throat. He falls down and I finish the job, by cutting his head off.

I’ve always loved irony. I pick up his head and shout to the heavens above. Hoping that Michael is smiling upon me.

I head back to ship, covered with glow-in-the dark entrails and end up being arrested for UA. And here I am sitting in a dark room going over what happened in the past 24 hours.

Just as I am ready to accept my fate, a man in a business suit shows up. “Hold it right there. Here are papers to show that Mr. Preston was pivotal in bringing down a local drug cartel. And here are papers that will allow him walk. Without any consequences. Good day, gentlemen.”

In the light, I get a real good look at him. I am in shock. “You?!”

Angry Man smiles at me. “Agent Phil Coulson. Supreme Homeland Investigative Espionage Law-enforcement Division. And I meant what I said. We couldn’t have survived without you. We are in your debt.”

It warmed my heart to hear praise like that. Although I was stuck on the agency. “That’s quite a mouthful. Why not just call yourselves SHIELD?”

Agent Coulson just laughed. “Yeah. We get that a lot. How about I drop you off at home. You have a new life to live.”

True to his word, I was left at the end of the drive. But my thoughts kept returning to a certain Latina woman I met. I swear I could still smell her. I could still hear her voice.

“Joshua, turn around.” It took all of one second to process that this is real.

I turn around and see the woman I love. We rush to each other and kiss. But my stupid analytical mind just won’t stop. She shivered from the temperatures of the meat locker and the waterfall. The Predator always attacked when we were close to being intimate. And the real cincher here is that she’s attracted to me.

I push her aside. “You’re one them, aren’t you?” I questioned this exquisite beauty.

She frowned and lowered her head. “Yes, I am. On my home world, we are chosen from birth to be mated. But the one chosen for me was very possessive. He threatened off every decent male. And those who would not threaten, he would kill. But not you Joshua. You stood your ground. And defeated him. And I choose you for my mate.” Marie became shy. “That is if you’ll have me.”

She dropped the holographic cloak. I saw her for the first time. I grabbed her and kissed her hard. I let hands slide down and firmly grasp her ass. A seductive hiss tells me I’m doing it right. And her breasts are somewhat musclely but soft enough to fondle. I’m going to enjoy my life with Marie. No matter where in the galaxy it will take us.

One last thing was bugging me ever since that night. “Marie? When you were getting dressed, did you intentionally stand in front of the light. Just so I could see her naked silhouette?” 

She moved a leg up to my groin. And whispered into my ear. “I had to think of some way to get your blood flowing.” She licked my ear.

I grabbed her hand and rushed into the woods. Doing things to each other that is considered illegal in many states.

The End.


End file.
